coffee before breakfast: a hormonal dumpster fire
Ah, coffee—that glorious nectar of life that we all love so much. But let’s talk about a little-known horror story: the tale of drinking coffee on an empty stomach
The Cortisol Chronicles
First things first, coffee on an empty stomach is like shouting “FIRE!” in a crowded theater of your adrenal glands. Why? Because caffeine stimulates cortisol production, aka your stress hormone. Now, cortisol isn’t inherently evil; it’s what helps you survive when a saber-toothed tiger (or Karen from accounting) is breathing down your neck. But when you’re sipping on your Americano before breakfast, you’re unnecessarily summoning the stress brigade. And when cortisol levels are chronically elevated, like every morning, it’s bad news. So let me break it down further…
Blood Sugar, Betrayal Style
Here’s the kicker: cortisol and blood sugar are BFFs. When cortisol spikes (from the stimulating caffeine in your coffee), it tells your liver to dump glucose into your bloodstream—you know, for all that tiger-fleeing you’re totally doing from the safety of your kitchen table. Without food (especially protein or fat) to stabilize things, your blood sugar goes on a roller coaster ride—and not the fun, adrenaline-pumping kind. We’re talking about the crash-and-burn variety, complete with irritability, cravings, and the desperate urge to shove pastries into your face at 10 a.m. Or the classic 2 pm crash that we all know so well.
Metabolism and Thyroid Mayhem
Oh, and let’s not forget your thyroid!!! Chronic cortisol spikes can slow down your thyroid function, which is basically your metabolism’s CEO. When your thyroid isn’t thriving, you’re looking at sluggish energy, weight gain, and a metabolism that never seems to be pleasing you. Some of the most common symptoms that can be attributed with this metabolism cascade include:
Cold hands and feet
Brain fog
Fatigue
Low libido
Hair thinning/hair loss
Chronic constipation
And beyond
Hormone Havoc
Last but not least, let’s chat about your other hormones—the ones responsible for your mood, energy, fertility and beyond. Chronic cortisol elevation can throw off the delicate balance of hormones like estrogen, progesterone, and insulin. It’s like setting off a domino effect of chaos. And if you’re in the postpartum or menopausal period? This cortisol-spiking coffee habit is just adding insult to injury for your already fluctuating hormones.
So, What’s the Fix?
It’s not about quitting coffee—because I’m not a monster and I would never. It’s about being strategic. Here’s your action plan:
Prioritize Breakfast First: Before you even think about coffee, eat something with protein and healthy fats. Think eggs and avocado toast, a smoothie with almond butter, or even some Greek yogurt with nuts and seeds. Your blood sugar will thank you.
Delay Gratification: Wait at least 30 minutes after eating to have your coffee. It’ll taste better with a side of stable hormones anyway.
Ditch the Sugar Bombs: Adding sugary creamers or syrups to your coffee is like adding fuel to the cortisol fire. Stick to quality coffee with minimal additives. My favorite things to add to my coffee are collagen (protein!!!), cinnamon (blood sugar helper), grass-fed milk (great balance of macros) and pure maple sugar (NOT THE CRAP PANCAKE SYRUP IN A PLASTIC BOTTLE) or honey!
Hydrate First: Start your morning with water to rehydrate your body. Bonus points for adding a pinch of sea salt or a squeeze of lemon.
Bottom Line
Drinking coffee on an empty stomach might seem like a harmless morning ritual, but it’s really just a hormonal dumpster fire in disguise. By tweaking your routine, you can still enjoy your beloved cup of joe without sabotaging your cortisol, blood sugar, and overall health. So, go forth, caffeinate responsibly, and let your hormones be the thriving queens they’re meant to be.
Cheers to mornings that don’t suck!!!